Kitchen Island 01

So, hi there, I’m Tim, I’m just short of 21 and even though I will be still be short of 21 in two weeks when my father remarries, I plan on joining in with the toast and I don’t see anyone interfering with that. And while we are on that subject, I mean, I’m an adult now, right, so, Sandra Stockdale will be my dad’s wife or second wife more than a step mom to me, right? And I’m not even going to venture down the path of those 2nd or 3rd cousins either. I mean, that’s all kids, stuff, right?

Now, having said all that, I have been considering the implications of what might happen between my dad’s future second wife’s sister and myself though, since we have enjoyed a playful relationship over the past two years. Nothing crazy, but playful and my searches on the internet actually produced some definitions that a step aunt is a real thing and with how people talk, right?

Oh, but let me pause for a moment because, come on, this will be a second marriage for both of them, it’s a smaller event with an outdoor ceremony venue with a small reception in the rental hall afterwards and the whole thing involves only about fifty people, but there has already been an announcement party, a confirmation party, a registration party, two dress fitting parties, an upcoming rehearsal party and on and on and on! Sheesh. Not to mention the two boxes of stuff that I’m currently pointing at that contain signs and plaques and garnish that reaffirm love the second time around, reserve the first two rows of ceremony chairs for immediate family, plaques with provide little sayings that nobody will read as they walk up the green garnish rug, which by the way, is about the same color as grass and on and on and on! Sheesh. What a racket. I mean, seriously, I could furnish my apartment with what the wedding day nick knacks cost!

Anyways, back to my commitment of treating Susan Stockdale as a bona fide step aunt going forward. I guess. And by the way, playful just means playful. You know, a little giggling off the side, an accidental bump here and there and stuff like that.

And it all started the Saturday morning when I dropped off the boxes of absolutely ridiculous second time around nick knacks!

[A quick swooshing shift around the Kitchen Island to the left]

“Timmy…

[A quicker swooshing shifting around the Kitchen Island also to the left]

“Ahem, Susan, I have 21 in my sights, so, it’s Tim now, okay?”

[A shuffle to the right around the Kitchen Island, followed by an even faster scuffle to the right]

“Oh, my bad, old man, so, Tim, what’s the elephant in the room here then, hmm?”

“Okay, fine, Susan, I’m not old enough to fully understand what you mean by that then, so?”

[Shuffle, right, left, right, followed by a corresponding shuffle right, left, right]

“Alright, Tim, I believe that you’re wondering if I’m actually wearing panties underneath of my long morning t-shirt and you’re desperately trying to side step with me so that we end on the same side of my Kitchen Island for just long enough for you to figure that out for yourself since this is the first time that you saw me this close to being underdressed. Or you’re here because, I mean, come on, Tim, it’s been almost two weeks since you felt me up, so, you know, Tim, pick an elephant then.”

[A lightning speed swoosh shifting around the Kitchen Island to the left]

“Hah! Susan…”

[Tries to speed shift to the left, but stumbles over feet and has to catch himself with both hands on the Kitchen Island counter top]

“Oops, ouch, I mean, hah, I choose answer C and if you don’t provide me with three optional answers to choose from, then I win!”

[Stubbed toe, limps to the left around the Kitchen Island]

“Ah-hah! I knew it, Tim! Optional answer three was that you’re worried that the pending wedding between your father and my sister will make me your step auntie and then you will feel weird about trying to figure out if you’re ever going to win with me! We’ve been caught enough over the past two years playing hide the weenie at all of the gaziosmanpaşa escort family gatherings and events, so? Shuffle back, shift forward, go!”

[The back-and-forth shuffle game of cat and mouse around the Kitchen Island has slowed down]

“Ah-hah back at you, Susan!”

[Head bob fake right, feet shuffle left, fake head bob left, feet shuffle two steps along the Kitchen Island]

“I’m never calling to call Auntie Susan anyways! And we’re finally alone, Susan, so why not play hide the weenie for real?”

[Fade right, shift back left, fade, fade right, shift back right, hold]

“Yeah, Tim? And where do you want to hide your weenie then, hmm? In my mouth or in my pussy? Which is barely covered this morning. And my ass is off limits.”

[Side shuffle right, back step left, oops, side, side step left, front step right]

“Well, Susan, I mean, how does that step stuff work then, huh?”

[Oh, a mirror image scuffle to the opposing corners of the Kitchen Island, hold positions]

“Oh, um, Tim, mankind has a name and a title for literally everything, so there is a title of step auntie, but you and I are pretty far removed, so if you got me pregnant, I think the odds of our baby coming out with frog legs is very small, you know, teeny tiny small like the thong undies I’m wearing this morning! Zig, zag, side step, go!”

[Zig, zag, zig with a corresponding zag, zig, zag along the Kitchen Island]

“Hold still, Susan! We need to talk about this! And we need to talk about how a woman in skimpy undies is not so much different than a woman in bikini bottoms!”

[Shuffle right, left, right, scuffle left, right, left]

“Tim, my sister will be here soon to pick up the boxes of ridiculous wedding day nick knacks and we’re wearing each out running around my Kitchen Island, so, let’s call it a draw, okay? I mean, you do have me barefoot in the kitchen and that’s more than anything we have done before, so?”

[Speed shift scuffle right, speed shift shuffle left, the Kitchen Island counter top has wear marks]

“Susan, at least lift your morning t-shirt and show me your tits!”

[Fake step left, shuffle right, scuffle right, slip slide left, counter shift right]

“We should wait for that Tim. I mean, in about five years my tits will be upper 40 something fat! Fat, fat, fat, fat!”

[Stumbles to the right, side steps to the left]

“Susan, I played the skimpy undies are the same as bikini bottoms card and it’s always a trump card, so?”

[Oh, a safety shuffle and a pause to opposing sides of the Kitchen Island]

“Mm, I don’t think that’s a good idea, Tim. It’s also why none of you boys ever saw me in a bikini, especially in a bikini as small as the thong I slipped on after my morning shower. Also, I thought you might enjoy a shaved pussy, so I did that a couple of days ago too! Bob right, fade left, go!”

[Oh, back to the quick shuffle left, followed a corresponding quick scuffle left around the Kitchen Island]

“[Wheeze] time out, Susan! I’m about out of breath from all this cat and mouse chase game we’re playing around your Kitchen Island [wheeze], but you knew I was coming over to drop off the boxes of ridiculous wedding ceremony nick knacks, you showered, you shaved, you wore skimpy undies and a sexy long t-shirt, so [wheeze], I’m winning, right?”

[Two mad dash shifting swooshes around the Kitchen Island]

“Well, Tim, I never said that I didn’t like your sneaky little moves that you put on me and maybe, just maybe, I wore a thong on purpose this morning, but only because, I mean, come on, Tim, two weeks ago, you “accidently” bumped into me in my sister’s hallway, I mean, bump hump a woman between her buns, Tim! Unless you really like my hips that much, so?”

[Reverse scuffles, stop step, reverse direction again]

“[Wheeze] We need to switch sides of the Kitchen Island, Tim, in case my sister pops in without knocking so I can make a kitchen escape to get properly dressed! And the next day after I shaved down there and after the stinging chilled gebze escort out, I may or may not have slipped on a pair of black sheer nylons with a garter belt and took a few selfies while wearing a whipped cream thong!”

[Cartoon style circling around the Kitchen Island]

“[Wheeze] show me your ass in your morning thong, Susan.”

[Slip slide step left, slide slip step right]

“Are you going to jack off on my ass, Tim? I never had that before. Do men slip at the last moment and jam it all up there, Tim? Are you going to mark me as your woman by coating my crack good between my buns with your man slime then, Tim, hmm?”

[Whoop, whoop, fake step right, whoop, whoop, counter fake step left]

“Tim, there is a good chance that I’ll have two too many cocktails at the reception and there’s a really good chance that I’ll wear a similar teeny tiny thong under my dress, which, by the way, is such a dress that would easily be lifted and flipped up from the back!”

[Oh, now it’s serious cartoon circling around the Kitchen Island!]

“[Dizzy wheeze] we need to practice right now, Susan, so we get it right in the Ladies room!”

“[Dizzy wheeze] is that man logic for we need to do it now before I technically become your step auntie, Tim? I mean, I see the logic and all, but still, my sister, Sandra will be here any minute. You remember her, right? Your future step mom! Do you really want her to catch us engaged in sex over the Kitchen Island, Tim? I mean, a man loses his hearing skills when he’s ball deep in a pussy from the rear, right, Tim? Also, switch back, switch around the Kitchen Island, go!”

[Rocket ship speed circling around and around the Kitchen Island. The Island is starting to loosen]

“[Dizzy wheeze] we need to call a truce, Susan [wheeze]. I’m feeling woozy.”

“[Dizzy wheeze] fine, LOL, me too, but I still need to end up on the other side of the Kitchen Island, so, is a truce the same as I’ll peek you mine if you peek me yours and it’s over for the day, hmm?”

[Oh, so, that long morning t-shirt gets removed and it’s back to the cartoon hurricane dust cloud circling around the Kitchen Island]

“[Wheeze, bounce, wheeze] alright, Tim, I’m barefoot and topless in the kitchen, so?”

“[Dizzy wheeze, woozy] I’m slowly swinging around the Kitchen Island towards my right, Susan, so, hold your position!”

[Well, it took three slow circles to finally meet up face to face]

“You may suckle a little bit, Tim, while I fish your cock out! Which I’m only doing to see what has been “bumping” into me for the past two years.”

[Grip, suckle left, grip, suckle right, unbutton shorts, unzip shorts, fish, grab, grip, stroke, holy hell]

“Oh, oh, OMG, I’m going to burn in hell for messing around with a hard cock that is 23 years younger than me!”

[Stroke, suckle, stroke, suckle, stroke, suckle, stroke, suckle, stroke, suckle]

“Manipulate it into your undies, Susan, aha, aha, aha!”

“Why, Tim? You seem to be doing that all by yourself!”

[Push, aim, stroke, manipulate, find edge of thong, push, aim, push]

“Well, I never had it this way before, but you keep it straight, Tim! No pushing upward! But I’m not complaining how you’ve found the middle of my lips! Saw me like my lover, Tim!”

[Thrust, saw, split lips, saw, thrust, saw, split lips, thrust, saw, split lips]

“I’m bending my knees, Susan! I’m too tall for a proper upward thrust!”

“Which is the point, lover! Keep it straight.”

[The height difference was impeding a good upward thrust, so Tim listened like a man]

“OMG, OMG, Tim, Tim, that’s deep baby! Three good thrusts and no more, sweetie, my sister will be barging in at any moment! Aha, aha, aha.”

[Again, Tim listened like a man]

[Thrust deep, bang deep, stab deep, thrust, hump, hump, pump, pump, thrust, thrust, pump, hump]

“Damn it, Tim, aha, aha, aha, give me your Saturday morning nut and be quick about it!”

[Men always listen. Spray, blast, spew, splash, squirt, squirt, sploosh, spray, milk grunt, ooze]

“[Wheeze] gediz escort well, now I’m barefoot and topless in the kitchen and with your man mess running down my thighs, Tim!”

“[Wheeze] finally!”

“I need to skedaddle to my bedroom and get dressed!”

[Beep, beep, vroom, honk, honk, vroom, park it]

“OMG! It’s my sister, Sandra!”

[Um, three more mad dashes around the Kitchen Island instead of just getting dressed?]

“It’s too late, hand me my t-shirts and button your shorts, Tim! I’ll just stand on this side of the Kitchen Island and you just take the boxes out to her SUV and OMG, do not let her notice that you have a freshly spent boner!”

“[Mwah].”

“OMG, make out with me later, Tim!”

[Tee he, people who get caught and go into a mad scramble are funny to watch]

“And act natural, Tim.”

[Zip, zig, zag, shift, shift, zag, zig, zip]

“Yoo-hoo, it’s me, Susan, your sister, Sandra and I’m here to pick up the boxes of, oh, oh my, there’s nothing suspicious about this then! Nor is it suspicious how and where you’re hold the box of garnish, young man!”

[The suspicious looking box is starting to throb vibrate]

“Bah, bah, bah, ooh, I’m just ready to carry the boxes to your SUV, um, ooh, step mom? Sandra?”

“Hmph! Sandra will be just fine, Timmy. You’re a little old for that step mom stuff. And sister, just why does the floor around your Kitchen Island feel so warm then, hmm? I thought you got your laps in down at the park, so?”

[A little cartoon smoke rises from the floor around the Kitchen Island]

“Tee he, well, sister, Sandra, I mean…”

“And just why would you greet someone as young as Timmy in such a t-shirt? And while we’re playing 20 questions, just why do you seem to be hiding on the other side of the Kitchen Island then, Susan? We always greet with a quick sisterly hug, so?”

[LOL, nope, nobody saw the roll of paper towels being removed from the Kitchen Island counter top]

[Tee he, quick wipe thighs, quick wipe, slowly shuffle left around the Kitchen Island]

“Hi, Sis [quick hug and backs out]. So, Sandra, Tim will load the…”

“OMG! Susan, where are your house shorts? OMG, Timmy, get those boxes out to my SUV pronto! Sheesh, I’ll make some coffee.”

[Susan tugs down mini skirt t-shirt in the front and takes two more laps around the Kitchen Island for some unknown reason]

[Sandra is stunned, but proceeds to make the coffee]

[Tim is learning how to play the drums using his throbbing drumstick and a cardboard box, but returns]

“Tee he, um, well, Sandra, um…”

“Hush Timmy. It’s not like literally everyone hasn’t caught the two of you playing footsies in the corner over the past two years, besides, it’s not all that unlike how a sank my claws into your father’s bank account, oops, I mean, how I met your father, so, well, she’s still changing into something appropriate in her bedroom if you want to say a quick goodbye. (Tee he, and it will be quick if you’re anything like your father, tee he). Get! And be, tee he, quick about it!”

Well, that’s better than having an evil witch of a future step mom, right?

[Bedroom door slowly creaks open. The bedroom is empty? WTF?]

“What the hell?”

“Hey, Indiana Tim, wrong bedroom! That’s the spare bedroom.”

So, listen, folks, circling back to near the beginning, I mean, if two sisters married a father and son team, would that make the two sisters as sister sisters in laws too? And what about my dad and I? Would we still be father and son, but also brother in laws? Like in as I get mentioned twice in the Will?

Oh, sorry.

“Well, that’s one cat out of the bag then, I guess, Tim, so?”

“Well, Susan, my inheritance might be reduced due to weird step family rules, so, one less cat to feed might be okay. We’re not done, right, Susan?”

“Oh no, not by a long shot, Tim. I mean, duh, we’re done for today, but with eight cats left in the bag, well, we’re not done yet. I mean, we have the upcoming rehearsal dinner, so that’s a blow job and then we have the wedding reception, so, that’s club sex in the Ladies room and then we have the honeymoon week where we can do it like rabbits in my sister’s martial bed!”

All of a sudden, huh, I was actually looking forward to my dad’s second marriage then, right?

End Kitchen Island 01