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Confessions of a Submissive Pt. 02

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Sir and I went into a dark period. My training thus far had been very limited, but I knew that if I was patient, if I could keep it together, that Sir would find me once again, and our arrangement would return to normal.

But circumstance kept us apart. Our near daily communication came to a stop. I found myself feeling restless. Doubt crept into my mind. I was afraid I was losing my connection to the only person who knew how to harness the potential I had.

I can’t explain the feeling of joy and relief when Sir stopped in to see me one Saturday morning. After a brief couple moments of conversation, he ordered me to my knees and to use my mouth on him. Soon, he climaxed, and I swallowed for him. I had told him previously of my fear, and lack of experience in this area, but he also knew I would not deny or deliberately fail.

Every new experience he subjected me to freed me from the oppression of the life I had been trapped in. One step closer to living the stories I had secretly written and published. Pushing me toward a rebirth of sorts as I began to develop into an instrument of my Dom’s desire. There was no romance involved, nor any desire for it. I knew my place.

However, he was aware I felt something for him. It was a deep devotion. I cared deeply for him, and was fiercely loyal to him, even going so far as to make changes to my appearance. They were things I had contemplated already, however knowing that it pleased him made it even more worthwhile.

The time spent away from my Dom was stressful, but I tried to use it as best I could. I tried to improve myself in his absence. I also learned how much he truly meant to me. I missed him terribly. I feared that circumstance would keep us apart permanently, that the door would be forced to close on this chapter of both our lives. The thought terrified me. I could not bear to think that just as quickly as he appeared into my life, that he would be gone.

Sir stopped by my office unexpectedly one Friday morning, approaching a holiday weekend. It was just before my birthday, and mere days before my divorce was finalized. It was good to see him, but I could tell something weighed on his mind. He assured me that he was going to keep me in his service, but things would need to be different for right now.

He commanded me to kiss him, before sending me back into my office, deliberately walking by to antagonize my co-worker who had previously tried to convince me the path I was on wasn’t the right one. She had tried to convince me to get away from him, even going so far as to delete the IM app I had used to correspond with him. I must admit, it was fun seeing her reaction after he walked by, especially while I sat there grinning at her. If she only knew the things I would do for my Dom… Oh if she only knew.

About a month and a half after things went quiet for us, my Dom reached out again, via e-mail this time. I was elated to hear from him, even if I knew I had become a bit rusty in my submission. It was as if he knew I was starting to give up on his return. I had met someone, and things were approaching a relationship, but Sir took priority for me. I replied to his email quickly, however I had a feeling that he would not see it until Monday.

The next morning, he stopped by my office again, let me know he had reached out, and that it had been far too long. He hadn’t seen my reply, but was also worried I hadn’t received his message, and he needed me to know that I was on his mind.

I told him I was afraid he had forgotten about me, as it had been two months since our last contact.

“I couldn’t… I wouldn’t… I can’t… and I won’t,” he reassured between kisses while he pinned me against the wall behind my desk. I hit my knees to pleasure him on the spot. As soon as he ordered it, it happened. We were mostly hidden, though there was still the off chance I could have been caught, but I didn’t care. I needed to do this. He had reaffirmed his control and power over me, and so I would reaffirm my devotion to him.

By the end of the summer, things had returned to normal for us. Our communication frequency returned, even keeping in constant contact through my vacation. Kadıköy Olgun Escort We finally were able to set up a session after I returned. After three months of waiting, it would become one of our most intense sessions to date.

As I waited for him that morning, my heart raced. It had been so long. My biggest concern was making sure I could still please him. I had my instructions to be in my bedroom, by the door, in position, motionless and silent when he arrived. When I heard the door open, the anticipation reached a fever pitch. As I heard him ascend the stairs to my bedroom, my heart was pounding in my ears.

I underwent a new experience that morning. After a small slip-up on my part led to a quick round of discipline from the crop, Sir rendered me completely helpless using cellophane wrap and tape. While he worked on me, the sound of the tape pulling across my head echoed deep into my mind.

Even though this was a daunting task for me, I felt no urge to resist or question. It was the first time he used clamps on me. He used ice. He commanded me to climax on command as he fingered me. My sight was taken from me. I was ordered to use my mouth to pleasure him. Sir pushed my limits and tested my resolve. I still felt no fear.

By the time Sir restored my sight, my entire body was aching for him. His influence permeated my existence, causing an undeniable connection I will never forget or outrun. The look of power in his eyes as he held me captive to his desires, knowing I would give all I could to serve him is burned into my soul. The look of lust as he studied me after placing the ball gag in my mouth brought me joy. The undeniable arousal as he claimed my body while I was restrained by the tape captivated me. I witnessed his ownership and his pleasure, and it became a sight permanently etched into my memory.

But the high I felt after that session quickly faded. The next morning, I was informed that I was being put in time-out, even though it was through no fault of my own. Our session had caused a few issues to arise in other areas of his life that needed to be addressed.

The next week was one of the most difficult I have endured as a submissive. I racked my brain for hours trying to figure out what I may have done wrong. I cried, from the frustration and pain. I feared that he was losing interest. I went to a very dark place, that left me questioning whether not I should still serve him. Maybe it was time to close this door and slip away unnoticed. I felt more doubt than ever. I blamed myself for whatever happened. I didn’t know what else to do.

During those moments of reflection and deep thought, the realization of how strong my feelings had really become hit me like a ton of bricks. I was completely devoted to Sir. I was also in love with him. It was not a hearts and flowers type love that most people experience. But it was one born of deep respect, selfless devotion, and endless gratitude toward my Dom. The feeling honestly scared me. I have long feared falling for someone. I always believed that when I fell in love with someone, or I opened myself up completely, so they can see my scars and most vulnerable side, they would disappear. Now, here I was, on the verge of facing that fear head on.

Within a few days, things began to return to normal. Sir and I talked, and we somewhat cleared the air surrounding his unexpected hiatus. I still felt a doubt lingering in the back my mind, but I was doing my best to set it aside. Sir reassured me that I was still in his service, and that he wanted me to be for the foreseeable future. His reassurance went a long way toward restoring my faith in knowing that I was on the correct path.

There were a few sessions that occurred, and I relished the moments that we had together. I can say that I have not been more satisfied with things than when I am kneeling in position by the door. In those moments, I am free. The way Sir studies me and takes in my presentation pushes me with an intensity I’ve never felt before. It even affects me when Sir is not present.

He has fostered my creativity through requesting photo shoots, enjoying the various images. He has granted Kadıköy Sarışın Escort me leverage to personalize my presentation, including some self-binding. The more pleased he appears with the results, the more determined I am to push for the next step in my progress as his submissive.

Soon, Sir told me he wanted to try something different. He wanted to change things up a bit and test me. He issued a challenge, one that seemed to be the opposite of his standard requirements for our sessions. I typically am discouraged from using any make up, and my hair is usually left in a serviceable ponytail, or on some occasions, a braid. But this time, I was to make myself up completely. To transform into someone else for him. He admitted that he had issued this challenge to other subs before but was never truly satisfied with the result. This was my big chance to prove myself.

The night of our session, I spent most of the evening doing what I could to ensure that everything would be perfect. I agonized over my appearance, put extra thought into my outfit, and spent a considerable amount of time straightening my hair. I was determined to pull this off flawlessly. Sir and I communicated all evening, and while on his trip to my house, he provided status updates.

“Less than 5 minutes. Final message.”

The words made my heart race as I placed my phone back on the desk. It was time to prove myself. Time to find out if I had passed my greatest challenge yet.

Sir was always punctual, and the sound of his hand on the door always snapped me into the proper mindset. I had instructions to be as calm as I had ever been, and the brief period of meditation he instructed me to complete before his arrival helped to calm the anticipatory jitters.

“Please don’t let me fuck this up,” I whispered as a quick prayer to whatever deity was watching, before taking a deep breath and settling into my final form.

I exhaled and froze as the door slowly opened. I studied his expression for any hint of displeasure with my presentation. I found none. Relief washed over as he circled me, studying me, enjoying the display I had prepared for him.

“Fucking amazing.”

I wanted to smile and show my joy at his response, but I was not permitted to move from my position until I was told to. Sir’s quiet praise sent my heart and soul soaring. I had nailed the presentation he wanted. I had put an insane amount of pressure on myself from the moment he gave me my instructions two days prior. I had spent longer than ever perfecting my hair and makeup. Hell, I was even wearing lipstick, slut red at that.

I was given new instructions. I was to follow his hand. When it dropped, I was to close my eyes and slowly bring my hands together, while standing with my feet shoulder-width apart. I followed the instructions without hesitation, his quiet command echoing in my mind after closing my eyes as I brought my hands inward slowly. The last thing I remember was feeling my hands touch before everything went dark.

“Sleep.”

I had just been hypnotized by my Dom.

I had no recollection of what I did for Sir while I was out. That alone is indicative of the absolute trust I hold for my Dom. To leave consciousness and to slip into a trance, for his use and pleasure, without fear of being abused, speaks volumes about my devotion and desire to please him.

I came to lying on the floor, propped against pillows. For a split second, everything felt foggy as I tried to find my wits. Then it occurred to me… I was covered in cum. Sir had climaxed all over my face. It left me wondering exactly what had gone on as I put myself back together for him. He was overjoyed that it happened. It left me feeling like the night was a total success.

The next day, we discussed our session, and Sir shared the photos. To say I was in awe of what transpired would be an understatement.

I was posed and ordered not to move, had clips placed on me, and satisfied the desires of my Dom. It was something he wanted to do again, and I readily agreed. What I didn’t know was that soon, I would crave it almost as much as Sir.

When our next session came Kadıköy Şişman Escort around, Sir gave me instructions different than before. I was to be as relaxed as possible by the time he arrived. Given the personal issues I had faced a few days prior with an ex-lover, it was difficult for me to free my mind at first, but I gave it my best effort.

When Sir arrived, he helped make sure I was as relaxed as possible. Once he felt I was ready, he sent me back into the trance. Again, I had no recollection of the events that occurred while I was out. Sir told me we would discuss it the next day.

“Oh, by the way, nice purple underwear” Sir smirked as he took his leave. I was still in a bit of a daze when he popped back in to grab a forgotten item. There was a brief flirtatious IM conversation before we said good night. I was definitely looking forward to the recap the next morning.

The next morning, the recap left me shocked. Sir was able to once again take total control while I was in the trance. He froze me in position and discovered that I was completely impressionable while I was under. Sir once again took some photos, some of which he said would not see the light of day for my sake. At his behest, I was once again a statue, as well a smoker, and a prostitute with a very interesting specialty.

The shock I felt while viewing the photos and video evidence of the session quickly faded into intrigue. I realized that I was beginning to crave the feeling of being hypnotized. It leaves me able to serve without a second thought or a moment of hesitation. I am truly a blank canvas, perfectly receptive to being molded into the image of Sir’s desire, whatever that may be. Each time, I find it’s getting easier for me to slip into the trance. It’s easier to calm myself in preparation for it, and I find I’m beginning to crave the feeling, not just for Sir’s pleasure, but also for my own.

For our next meeting, I was instructed to dress up, but not to the same extent of the last time I was ordered to make myself glamourous. I chose a knee-length shift dress, my brunette wig, and a metal masquerade mask. I was determined to put forth a flawless presentation.

When it was time, I waited in my position by the front door, head turned and bowed slightly, eyes downcast, perfectly motionless as the door opened. I could feel his gaze upon me, studying me, watching for the slightest movement. I forced myself to hold in the shiver that so desperately wanted to emerge as he touched me.

It wasn’t long before I was placed under hypnosis again. When Sir brought me back to consciousness, he laughed and showed me one of the photos he snapped. Upon seeing it for myself, I couldn’t help but laugh as well.

It had been part of our early banter that I would eventually figure out what sort of car he drove. He always warned me that if I did figure it out, I would find myself in the trunk. While I was out, Sir led me to his car and instructed me to climb in the trunk. He snapped a couple photos to show that without committing the crime, I received the punishment.

It did renew my determination to figure out the make and model of the bright red mystery car. I ventured a few guesses the next day, but I wasn’t correct. Maybe eventually I’ll figure it out.

Our near-weekly schedule would be interrupted due to a holiday and my travel plans for some business matters. I found that skipping a week left me feeling a little restless, needing to serve him in person, adding to my determination to be the perfect submissive.

I was issued a couple challenges, one of which being trained to deepthroat satisfactorily. Because of my limited oral experiences prior to my tenure with Sir, I was not confident in my ability to do so, and found myself gagging often, which left Sir slightly disappointed. But, as always, he was patient, and understood my difficulty. I was thankful for this, but I also knew that I needed to get past this hindrance if I were ever going to be able to fully satisfy my Dom’s desires.

During my time away, we communicated as often as circumstance allowed. I managed to sneak a few photos as well. Even with the distance, I served him as best I could. However, some upcoming life changes left me worrying about how I would continue my submission. Yet, I had to force it to the back of my mind.

Because with every conversation, with each photo I sent, each command I followed, I was counting down to the next time I would kneel before him.

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